With his hair helmet shining, noted mentalist and super cool guy, Sam Eaton took the stage and announced: “TONIGHT THERE WILL BE NO SECRETS!” I winced as I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to tell the audience that I wasn’t toilet trained till first grade (he didn’t).

In truth I had no clear idea as to what a mentalist was or what they did and I was a little apprehensive. I needn’t have worried. Sam Eaton was more than a mentalist; this man was a master performer.

EVERY feat of mystery he performed he used a volunteer from the Petri dish that was the audience. The night I went the soup included: smarmy suburban 10-year-old boys, the Scottish, guys in ties, blue hairs and me!

And all of us fell in love with the man as over the course of 90 painfully short minutes he won our hearts. He commanded all of our attention, weaving a rich tapestry of bad jokes and mysterious feats of mental agility.

He had the kind of charisma that people said David Koresh or Hitler used to possess, only you know in a non-genocidal Christ complex having kind of way.

Now, I’m not saying I have a “mancrush” on the dude, but, well, my girlfriend said it best when she told me she found him, “kinda dreamy in a Gabe Kaplan/ Egon Spangler kind of way.”(I love my girlfriend.)

I won’t tell you exactly what his act consisted of, first off because it would rob you of the wonderment of the experience. But also because I don’t think I’m a good enough writer to capture the uniqueness of the evening.

I will however tell you that he completely blew my fragile lil’ mind by just knowing things that he couldn’t possibly know. In closing: this was one of the few experiences in my life that I was glad I was sober for. See it, trust me.

DIG IT!

• The Jewel Box Theater is on the 10th floor of a building whose ONLY elevator fits 7 people at a time: arrive early
• For future show times and general informational type shit click here!
• Sam produces a show called, “Paul Carpenter’s: The Psychic”
• Paul is a super cool guy who holds a world record for the fastest escape from a straight jacket

• The Jewel Box Theater is also the home of the Guilty Pleasures Burlesque and Vaudeville Show.