Groggy, groaning, gurgly noises.

My head is killing me and WHERE are my PANTS??!! Well, let’s see… the last thing I remember was something about Left Foot on Blue- OH MY GOD… that’s right- last night I was at Disco Crisco Twister!!!!!

*****FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT*****

I arrive cool and collected to Arlene’s Grocery, a trashy little place with great style- just the kinda place where ‘Drama Queen’ shirts, converse sneaks and red leopard skin dresses abound. There’s a crowd playing FlipCup (and yes- it’s a drinking game).

Dana Sterling (Queen of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling) and Annie Rocks (Music Promoter Extraordinaire) have teamed up once again to bring back the game of Twister, but this time with a twist- they’ve added a colorful slippery Crisco-like substance to the game board. And, believe me- this game is a lot more interesting than it used to be.

The Ramblers, the house band, plays the Disco Crisco theme song with guest singer Stephanie from Rotten Cheri. An event with it’s own theme-song sounds like a good idea to me. Food Will Win the War had a different sound- go East Village!

DJ Skintight kept the great tunes coming when the bands weren’t playing. Colin, Alan and Jessica were our Emcees for the evening.

COLIN: Let’s lube this shit! (The slippery stuff is added & the games begin.)

Right Hand Green, Left Foot Red. I will survive, hey, hey.

ALAN: From here I feel like a proctologist with all these butts in the air. Dana is lubing up Becca, the birthday girl.

COLIN: That’s dangerous right there.

Right Foot Yellow, Left Hand Blue.

COLIN: This twister board has a mind of it’s own.

ALAN: Next time we should do it with a Ouiji board- I like the idea of evil spirits telling you where to go.

Dana takes on the board. I need some hot stuff baby this evening. She’s a very freaky girl, the kind you can’t take home to mother.

Left Foot Green, Right Foot Red. It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight.

GUY ON TWISTER BOARD: He’s fuckin’ drippin’ sweat on me, dude— just go!

Left Foot Yellow, Left Hand Red. Just beat it, no one wants to be defeated.

Unexpectedly, this game of twister turns into twister in your underwear. Dude on board starts losing his boxers, but cannot move, lest he lose the game of twister. He’s not about to back down. Dana and Becca wrestle his boxers off of him. People- we now officially have erotic, lubed up, naked Disco Crisco Twister and everyone is covered in green goo.

Kindergarten takes the stage with an animated performance and fresh punk/funk sound. The NY moon is beautiful. They start losing their clothes, too.

BECCA: When in doubt, get naked!

Everyone on the dance floor is in their underwear- the undies have taken over!

Overall: It’s juvenile in the best possible way, it’s ridiculous, its fun! Come alone or with friends- play or even just sit on the sidelines and watch the action from an unsticky vantage point. It was kinda a mix between a frat party drunken brawl and a child’s sweet, innocent birthday party. I don’t even remember who won, but I would definitely do it again. Catch Disco Crisco Twister monthly.

Now, let’s see… what happened to my pants??