Archive for April, 2007

I’ve been too busy to review actual events lately because I’ve been entranced by the barely hetero love-fest that is Mancrush. Check it out, and not that I want to influence your vote in any way, but Henry Rollins fucking rules.

Ah. . . The hunt for the perfect karaoke. . . An arduous task, yes.

See, the city is rich with microphones and TV screens filled with highlighted lyrics. And with the wide variety of work schedules we all contend with, finding the right venue, at the right time, date, and location for your rock-star fix can be a challenge.

For nearly a year, Sid and Buddy karaoke filled that desperate longing need within me to awaken the “karaoke whore”, as Sid (aka Matt) lovingly refers to his charges.

It was at Galapagos, in Williamsburg, every Sunday night. It was an addiction. Deeply. Madly. Truly. I would rock Aerosmith when I had no voice to give. I’d stay for the “end of the night Bohemian Rhapsody medley” in which everyone who lasted until 4 in the morning was compelled to join.

But all good things do come to an end, and Sid and Buddy ended their Sunday night run, and I was lost without a stage to seranade.

I found a surrogate at Smiths Times Square, which of course is in a very inconvenient location, and is hit or miss (but the on nights are ON!)

Then I found that Sid was BACK! This time, at The Grand Saloon on E.23rd st. So I decked myself out in my snazzy khaki suit and got ready to rock out some Big Bad Voodoo Daddy!

And although, all my favorite karaoke buddies from the Sunday night days of yore were all there to welcome me back, sadly, the magic just wasn’t there.

Probably becuase of the bland, lifeless, dull-as-dull-can-get atmosphere of Murray Hill (the neighborhood, not the burlesque MC)

And Grand Saloon, like many pubs in the area, seems like a lovely place to order hot wings and Coors light and watch the game, (if thats yer thing) but not so much for the weekend rock stars.

Either way, Sid does have THE most comprehensive song list of any karaoke host I’ve ever seen! (Over 10,000 songs!!) so if you’re looking for that rare tune that no other karaokian seems to be able to supply, maybe you should head to the Saloon one Friday night and check the scene for yerself.

Even though it was advertised as being on Catherine and Cherry St [it wasn’t], I still managed to stumble upon the East Side Polo Invite earlier today. (It’s really in Sara D Roosevelt Park on Christie between Delancy and Broome).

Think upper- crust- Ralph- Lauren- wearing- tea- drinking jockeys riding properly upon horses. But replace the jockeys with punk-rock bike messengers, and replace the horses with banged up bikes, and replace the tea with Red Bull (plus. . . ).

In the time I was there I saw six guys fall off their bikes, one guy who loved throwing elbows, three guys dressed up like Mexican Wrestlers, one guy flip completely over his bike, one mallet get smashed to pieces, two instances of ironic facial hair, a token black guy, a token asian guy and a partridge in a pear tree.

Are they great athletes? No.

Is it completely exciting the whole time? No.

Did anybody get into a fight? No.

If you live in the neighborhood, should you swing by and check it out?

Definitely.

Sitting in the park is always a good idea, and it’s only enhanced by watching the players riding back and forth. Even I (usually anti-sports) got into it, and picked my favorite teams to root for, based on their awesome striped shirts.

Plus it’s one of those sports where something dangerous could happen, and those are the best ones to watch (the adult in me kept wanting to yell out that they should be wearing helmets).

Maybe if you go, you’ll get to see one instance of flying over handelbars, two punches thrown and one bike messenger brawl.

The East Side Polo Invite continues thru tomorrow (10am-Dusk) and regular games are played every Sunday at Noon.

UNCOOLKIDS Slideshow of Saturday’s game

“If pain is comedy than high school was hilarious”- So states the tagline for this improvised homage to everything for which John Hughes stood.  Teen Movie High is an hour long improvised tour de force of ridiculousness.  And for anyone who considers Sixteen Candles and Weird Science timeless classics- this show will blow your fragile little mind!

The evening started out with director, Karen Herr, greeting the audience.  Then the cast brought out the Wheel of Sub Genres.  They picked an audience member to come up and spin the wheel to determine what sub genre the evening’s performance would be based on. 

Bonus:  they actually picked my girlfriend to spin the wheel!  As a special treat they gave her a six pack of Budweiser tall boys to enjoy during the show. It was like Christmas and my birthday all rolled up in one beery package! 

The sub genre we were treated to was, ”A day in the Life.”  Think:  Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Can’t Hardly Wait, etc…  The show started out as the valedictorian, who for 4 years had been crushing on the hot, Big Man On Campus, declares that at tonight’s graduation party she’ll finally get her man! 

From there it was a carousel of clichés reinvented on the spot to side splitting effect:  There was an “accidental” lesbian moment; stoners getting’ lit up and crying as they watch The Land Before Time; a streaking scene that ended badly in a corn field; much beer drinking and light vomiting. 

Each of the six performers were obviously skilled improvisers.  Even though they occasionally cracked each other up, none of them ever broke character. 

They kept the action moving forward even while incorporating the unexpected, like working performer, Mark Lampert’s, constant stream of sweat into a makeout scene.  Trust me it was gross, but it totally worked. 

Period perfect music cues, like “Don’t You Forget About Me” and “Afternoon Delight” added an extra layer to the surreal hilarity of the performance.   

In the end the girl got the boy, the boy grew as a person and I got to drink free beers.  It was a happy ending for all. 

For $10 (3$ for students) you can’t go wrong.  It shows every Friday at Gotham City Improv,on 21st street, at 8:30pm.  It’s perfectly timed between happy hour and a late night supper.  AND… they’ve just been extended through June!  So go check ‘em out. 

For tickets call- 646.258.6727 or click here. 

For the first time in her short but celebrated career, Lori Earley has a solo exhibition in New York. If you want to be among the uncool kids in the know, you’ll venture to The Opera Gallery (115 Spring Street, NYC) this Saturday, April 28^th, from 6 pm – 9 pm, for the opening reception of Lori Earley’s Anima Sola.

We got our prying eyes on the ten paintings on display at last night’s private press preview, and are here to report that Anima Sola is a must-attend art affair. Lori Earley could very well be the person art historians will fuss over for years to come when speaking about pop surrealism.

Obsessed with couture fashion, Earley’s paintings are inspired by the fashion world’s attention-getters, Alexander McQueen, Donatalla Versace, and Jennifer Nicholson. The women in her paintings therefore wear high-fashion outfits that evoke a sense of their personalities.

In one painting, Time Passed, a young woman drapes herself over a chair in a room full of dressmaker’s dummies. In a self-referential moment, Earley includes a painting reminiscent of her The Drought in the background. Perhaps the background of cloths-making props and the artist’s own painting are true to the development of the piece, and offer further insight into Earley’s methodology:

The artist arranges a photo shoot in her studio with a model to enhance mood and accuracy of pose and figure. Lori Earley then creates a final sketch from her photograph of the model, and only then begins her painting in oil. For her new series of portraits, Lori Earley’s models pose in original Jennifer Nicholson couture dresses. The celebrity fashion designer is an avid collector of Lori Earley’s work.

Earley’s portraits depict alluring yet dangerous vixens—femme fatales who know how to use their beauty to get what they want. Take for instance, Ms. Celose, who wears a strapless pink shirt, body-hugging brown skirt, and fur, all of which could be considered indications of sexual confidence and even aggression. Her perfectly highlighted hair swells outward, conically, like many of Ray Caesar’s renditions of women. She sits resolutely on a chair that could easily be a seat in an open carriage or a throne, and it is clear that she thinks highly of herself.

Despite their alpha-dog qualities, the women show their vulnerability. Sarah channels a brooding Christina Ricci. She looks pissed off, but protectively holds her arms over her chest. The stunning woman in Regret at first glance appears strong in a sleeveless fur turtleneck, her blonde hair pinned into Princess Leia buns; but as you step in closer, you realize her eyes are brimming with tears.

The most striking aspect of these women is not their fashion statements but their eyes. Ever-expanding, the eyes of every woman painted stretches across her face. Many are almost without pupils.

Two guys at the preview had opposing views of the women. “This one scares you?” he said to his friend. “What’s wrong with you?” He was clearly enchanted by the women’s beauty. They walked away saying the paintings looked like “women from mars.”

I kept circling around the pictures, looking at them from various angles. Due to their eyes, the women looked very much like characters in a fairy tale that could summon the power of metamorphosis to turn into wild wolves. One painted women in particular conjured up images of changing into something altogether different than who she appeared to be at the moment. She was naked on top, and the painting cut off the brown that started at her waist—was she wearing a skirt, or was she perhaps part fawn? She had a siren-like lure, as if she would use her beauty to ensnare men in the thick of the forest before turning into a more vicious creature.

The dual nature of these women circles back to the exhibition’s title, Anima Sola. In the Catholic tradition, Anima Sola refers to the Lonely Souls who remorsefully worry as they wait for judgment. Perhaps the women in Earley’s paintings suffer for their wicked actions of the past.

So what did Lori Earley wear to her own press function? A tight reddish dress with a little black lace peeking out around the chest. She accessorized with black fishnets, black heels, black jewelry, and a goblet of white wine.

Yesterday was Wednesday, and for all you neophytes to the comic world, Wednesday is NEW COMICS DAY.

So, I rifled through the new releases and picked up what looked good this week.

The latest in the endlessly unfolding saga in Wolverine’s origin was nothing special. (So it turns out he was descended from an ancient line of Lupine Werewolves. How fascinating.) So I was glad that the post-Captain America assasination saga was so good.

The Loss of “Cap” is being felt all through the Marvel Universe, and they’ve been exploring each of the most important characters’ mourning in a series called Fallen Son. this week it was The Avengers, the team that Cap led for many years (34 years in real-world time.)

In the wake of CIVIL WAR, the Avengers were split in two: The Mighty Avengers, organized by Iron Man and led by Ms. Marvel were the pro Super-Human Registration Act team (referred to from here on out as the SRA). The anti-SRA team, which have now gone underground go by the title The New Avengers, and are protected by the magics of Dr. Strange and are led by Luke Cage.

In Fallen Son: Avengers, we have a split story: following the Mighty Avengers on a run-of-the-mill super-villain beatdown and following the New Avengers to. . . a top secret poker-game. (During which we learn the secret of The Thing’s favorite drink: An ice-cold PBR!! Heh.)

The writing, by super-hero comics and TV series powerhouse Jeph Loeb was clever, cute, and fun, exploring first and foremost, the relationships between these heroes, and how the Marvel Superhero community really is just like a disfunctional family who are now dealing with the loss of a loved one, and every so often, misplacing their anger.

My favorite scene was a minor scuffle between Spider-Man and Wolverine, who really represent the two poles of Superhero compassion. (Wolvie being the cold-hearted cad, and Spidey the hopeless sentimentalist.) Definetely a good read, even for those who don’t follow the Marvel continuity.

My last accquisition was Ultimate X-men #81, which after a very mediocre 20 or 30 issues (perhaps in their lead-up to big, bad #100) is FINALLY getting back to basics and quality storylines. Which leads into my exposition of:

ULTIMATE MARVEL

In 1999, Marvel undertook a very ambitious project. Recreating their greatest characters storylines inside their own pocket universe. Starting with a whole new Spider-Man and X-men stories that stay true to their basic themes, but exist now in a wholly 21st century continuity.

Ultimate Spider-man is, back to his roots, a 15 year-old high school student, still dating Mary-Jane on and off , still struggling to keep up with school work, is still a brash and hot-headed teen, and best of all, is the “web-maintainer” for the Daily Bugle. Writing by Brian Michael Bendis, a top-notch writer and drawn by Mark Bagley, who drew a phenomenal run on Amazing Spider-Man in the early 90’s. I heavily reccomend the first Ultimate Spider-Man TPB: Power and Responsibility

Next came Ultimate X-men, a much more media-savvy, much more complex introduction to the band of rebel-outlaw teenage mutations and their relationship to the human and mutant world around them. Their costumes are more militant than the bright colored spandex of “Classic X-men” and the characters’ demons seem to haunt them much closer to the surface. Though the recent issues have been a bore, the first Ultimate X-Men TPB: The Tomorrow People is considered one of the best X-men storylines of all time.

Much later came Ultimate Fantastic Four, which seems first and foremost, just a chance to tell the FF storyline from the point of view of excited and inexperienced teenagers. Its fun, but so far, nothing special.

Lastly, is the perpetual enigma that is The Ultimates. This is the Ultimate Universe version of the Avengers, which is being undetaken as an “event book” with heavily political plotlines, extremely detailed war scenes, and issues that come out (FRUSTRATINGLY) maybe once every 3 months.

Fortunately, The Ultimates team often appears in the other books, led by Nick Fury, who in this Universe, is black and looks just like Samuel L. Jackson. (Jackson even gave written consent to model the characters looks and attitude after him.)

Go get ‘em, comic fans!!!

Groggy, groaning, gurgly noises.

My head is killing me and WHERE are my PANTS??!! Well, let’s see… the last thing I remember was something about Left Foot on Blue- OH MY GOD… that’s right- last night I was at Disco Crisco Twister!!!!!

*****FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT*****

I arrive cool and collected to Arlene’s Grocery, a trashy little place with great style- just the kinda place where ‘Drama Queen’ shirts, converse sneaks and red leopard skin dresses abound. There’s a crowd playing FlipCup (and yes- it’s a drinking game).

Dana Sterling (Queen of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling) and Annie Rocks (Music Promoter Extraordinaire) have teamed up once again to bring back the game of Twister, but this time with a twist- they’ve added a colorful slippery Crisco-like substance to the game board. And, believe me- this game is a lot more interesting than it used to be.

The Ramblers, the house band, plays the Disco Crisco theme song with guest singer Stephanie from Rotten Cheri. An event with it’s own theme-song sounds like a good idea to me. Food Will Win the War had a different sound- go East Village!

DJ Skintight kept the great tunes coming when the bands weren’t playing. Colin, Alan and Jessica were our Emcees for the evening.

COLIN: Let’s lube this shit! (The slippery stuff is added & the games begin.)

Right Hand Green, Left Foot Red. I will survive, hey, hey.

ALAN: From here I feel like a proctologist with all these butts in the air. Dana is lubing up Becca, the birthday girl.

COLIN: That’s dangerous right there.

Right Foot Yellow, Left Hand Blue.

COLIN: This twister board has a mind of it’s own.

ALAN: Next time we should do it with a Ouiji board- I like the idea of evil spirits telling you where to go.

Dana takes on the board. I need some hot stuff baby this evening. She’s a very freaky girl, the kind you can’t take home to mother.

Left Foot Green, Right Foot Red. It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight.

GUY ON TWISTER BOARD: He’s fuckin’ drippin’ sweat on me, dude— just go!

Left Foot Yellow, Left Hand Red. Just beat it, no one wants to be defeated.

Unexpectedly, this game of twister turns into twister in your underwear. Dude on board starts losing his boxers, but cannot move, lest he lose the game of twister. He’s not about to back down. Dana and Becca wrestle his boxers off of him. People- we now officially have erotic, lubed up, naked Disco Crisco Twister and everyone is covered in green goo.

Kindergarten takes the stage with an animated performance and fresh punk/funk sound. The NY moon is beautiful. They start losing their clothes, too.

BECCA: When in doubt, get naked!

Everyone on the dance floor is in their underwear- the undies have taken over!

Overall: It’s juvenile in the best possible way, it’s ridiculous, its fun! Come alone or with friends- play or even just sit on the sidelines and watch the action from an unsticky vantage point. It was kinda a mix between a frat party drunken brawl and a child’s sweet, innocent birthday party. I don’t even remember who won, but I would definitely do it again. Catch Disco Crisco Twister monthly.

Now, let’s see… what happened to my pants??

Blue and white colored Fifth Avenue yesterday for the 76th Annual Greek Independence Day Parade, dedicated to religious freedom. Greek Americans from throughout the TriState area lined 61st to 76th streets to celebrate their heritage — and the fact that for the first time ever the largest Greek parade outside of Greece was televised.

Anna Vissi was the Honorary Marshal. The Cyprus-born pop star (sometimes referred
to as “The Greek Madonna”) has sold 9.5 million albums across the world.

American Idol’s Constantine Maroulis was also there. Maroulis’ grandparents immigrated from Greece to the States in the 1920s, and he himself grew up in Brooklyn and Wyckoff, New Jersey.

Guiding Light star Frank Dicopoulos was another celebrity present.

Honored guests included the Hellenic Navy Band and Evzones (Greece’s elite Presidential Guard).

Government officials from Greece and the US were also there.

Greek-Americans Ernie Anastos and Nick Gregory hosted the event, along with fellow newsanchor Rosanna Scotto. Although they are Fox 5 correspondents, the parade actually aired on WWOR-TV My9.

What I want to know is, is it “uncool” to be Greek in America? Why did it take so long for the Greek parade to be televised when both the St. Patrick’s Day parade and the Puerto Rican Day parade are televised? After all, as one float pointed out, Greece is the foundation of civiliazation.

The first Greek came to the United States in 1528, and there are now around 3,000,000 Americans of Greek descent, most of whom live in New York, according to world’s best source for user-contributed knowledge, Wikipedia.

Some of the most famous Greek Americans include:

Were you at the parade? Did you see it on TV? Let us know what you think about the reflection of Greek Americans in the media.

Every so often the Zipper Theatre, arguably one of the coolest theatre spaces in the city, hosts an event called “Above the Belt” which is a showcase of NYC based aerial performers– an oppurtunity for trapeze artists and the like to show off their skills. Somehow the folks at the Zipper have transformed their comfortable, unique space into a underground circuis scene. There is a hint of the European, and for two magnificent hours you completely forget you are in Manhattan. “Above the Belt” truly brings the audience to a different time, a different location, a different world.

This is the single greatest physical performance I have ever seen. Forget Stomp or Blue Man Group, or event the great shows PS 122 has to offer. “Above the Belt” is stunning, terrifying, magical and sensual experience. The performers use aparatuses I have never even seen– silk ropes hanging from the ceiling, twsited around the body expertly so that the performers hang and twist and twirl in the sky with unbelievable grace and fearlessness. There is a huge silver hoop used as a kind of trapeze, and a set of two looped ropes that a male-female duet hang and dangle with.

“Above the Belt” is difficult to talk about. It is so unusual, so beautiful that I say for two hours with my mouth, quite literally, wide open, hand over mouth, eyes wide. There is no safety net in the Zipper Theatre, and the sense of urgency and danger is pervasive. The performers do not stumble for a moment, however, and they execute seemingly impossible movements with strength and agility. They are dancers in the sky… some of the best dancers I have ever seen.

This event is trying to become a monthly performance, and we should only be so lucky to have this kind of experience available every month. “Above the Belt” is modern and old fashioned, in the same moment, unfamiliarity in the middle of Times Square. It is a gift to the city.

Stand out performers include Jordann Baker, Michelle Dortignac, Joshua Dean and Kristin Olness.

Information available at the Zipper Theatre’s website. 

I never realized what true devotion was until I experienced the Buffy Sing- a- Long at the IFC Center. For those of you who don’t know: this is a staged screening of the all singing Buffy episode: “Once More With Feeling”.

As the show unspools on the big screen, actors lip synch and pantomime the action on stage. Much audience participation, glitter and bubble blowing ensues.

I was shocked as I approached the theater and saw a line stretching up sixth ave. I was even more taken aback by the crowd. It was a surreal mix of middle aged, overweight men with goatees and ponytails; little Lisa Loeb clones; college kids; business people and of course the ubiquitous Japanese party girls that seem to spring up where you least expect them.

This was a whole new experience for me and I was stoked. Unfortunately, the showing was at midnight and by the time I got to the theater I was exhausted (read: drunk).

So instead of a straightforward, coherent review of this event, I am going to just transcribe for you the notes I found scrawled on cocktail napkins in my pocket when I woke up this morning.

-I’ve never seen so many people be so happy to be standing in a line.

-UNCOOL COOL TIP: Order tickets early, then go and drink in the Waverly bar- conveniently connected to the theater. The drinks are moderately priced, and you don’t have to wait on the line with the increasingly disturbing shiny happy people. Oh, and they let you into the theater first.

-A dude with an eye patch just gave me a goodie bag. Inside are many treats including plastic vampire teeth. I am happy.

-A chick just handed my girlfriend a pair of granny panties and told us,”You’ll know when to throw them.” I am confused.

-Buffy trivia contest. Seven contestants play to get a chance to perform a scene in front of the throng. Everybody but me knows the answers. If you know who killed vampire Willow and how, get off your ass right now and go to this show.

-I think contestant #3 is cocky and I don’t care for his prima donna attitude.

-There are several video montages, one to a song titled, “Coin Operated Boy”. My girlfriend loves it, I think its sexist.

-The positive energy in the crowd is infectious. These people are ready to ROCK!

-Giles (our host for the evening) takes the mike, reviews the contents of our goodie bags, and refers us to a card that let’s us know when to do stuff. There’s a kazoo, but we’re not allowed to use it yet- Giles is mean.

-The show starts and the crowd takes on a quiet reverence. It doesn’t last. People are soon shouting back at the screen, singing lovingly and cackling.

-This is very reminiscent of the Rocky Horror shows I used to go to in the early 90’s- only without all the blow and drag queens.

-The show is over. Buffy gets over her sense of ennui, and makes out with Spike.

-Giles tells us there’s a short break, then anybody who wants can hang around and they’ll watch another episode together. It’s almost 2:15 AM so I have to go home.

-Despite knowing next to nothing about the Buffyverse I genuinely dug this experience.

-P.S.- They were right, I totally knew when to throw the panties.

For upcoming shows click HERE!