Archive for March, 2007

I walked in to The Big Quiz Thing and the place was packed. No seats anywhere and none of my friends were there yet. It was only 7:30. Oh well. They finally arrive and we get our drinks and as Shannon hands me my jack and coke, it somehow spills up my sleeve. Not a good start to the night. I got a Big Quiz Thing pad and pencil from Noah Tarnow, the host, and my team and I force ourselves into a crowded corner by the doors so we have something to lean on. Our team name was uncoolkids dot com. Original, I know. My favorite team name of the night was “Buy more chairs”. Right on.

The quiz itself? HARD. I didn’t know I was so dumb. Actually, I was a little smarter than I thought. Here’s a hint: don’t second guess yourself. Every time I did, I was all “D’oh! I should have gone with my first guess.” There were five rounds with about 10-15 questions about movies, Fortune 500 companies, books, unusual deaths of famous people, candy bars, politics, even a ‘name that tune’ round…a little something for everyone. They also give away Smart-Ass Points. If you don’t know the answer, make something up, and if it’s funny, Noah will read it and decide if you get a Smart-Ass Point based on audience response.

I thought I had put together a pretty decent team and while we didn’t come in last, we certainly didn’t come in first, not even close. Regardless, we had a blast. Noah Tarnow is a charming and delightful host; not at all creepy and orange like a Bob Barker or Chuck Woolery type. And you can win prizes like books or CDs or Entenmann’s donuts (the team that was in 17th place won these) or the grand prize of the evening: $200!! The Big Quiz Thing is a good excuse to get your friends together and go out on a Monday night. Just get there early. I spoke with a regular who said she usually gets there at 6:30 or 7:00 to score a booth for her team . You can bring in outside food and have a couple of drinks before the show begins. Also, they want teams of at least four people, but never fear. If you show up alone, they’ll find a team for you. For those of you looking to cheat, don’t try it cause you’ll most likely get caught. Plus Noah doesn’t like cheaters and frankly, neither do I.

I can’t wait to go to The Slipper Room for The Big Quiz Thing again. Next time, however, I will get there early because I want a booth!!

So, with my friend, Honey in tow I braved the single digit wind chill and wandered through the streets of Brooklyn in UNCOOL anticipation. As we reached Freddy’s Backroom at 8ish PM, we smiled with elation while eagerly gripping 2 beat-up cardboard boxes, some plastic kiddie scissors, glue, styrofoam round thingees and a few other oddities we found lying around the apartment. We were ready for a fun-filled evening of making dioramas- yes, yes… you remember those adorably crappy little boxes filled with household crafty items and/or junk that your mother was once so proud of and your dad thought was just plain stupid.

We enter Freddy’s with delight. Huh- well, let’s see… there’s some band in the backroom breaking down their set, but we see NO other diorama-making creative geniuses anxious to play with primitive art supplies. So, we saddle up to the bartender.

ME: Oh, hi. We’re here for the Diorama Lodge.

BARTENDER: Oh… is it diorama night? No I don’t think so, I think maybe she took March off.

Ahhh, the disappointment was ALMOST too much to bear (especially since said bartender did NOT share a round of free drinks with these 2 weary diorama-less travelers to ease our sadness at this disheartening revelation. But, then we spotted them: 2 guys (strangers with an artistic glint in their eyes) hanging at the bar with all sorts of strange items that could ONLY be… yes, you guessed it- diorama supplies!!! Okay, SO THEN THERE WERE 4.

So, the next little while was spent constructing a nifty, yet half-ass group diorama over a pack of cherry Pez with folks named Fluff, Honey & Paul. We watched the little frogs swimming in the aquarium and discussed scuba diving in Thailand and fuzzy hats and discovered that everybody liked dogs. Ooh, and apparently Lake Baikl in Siberia is one of the freshest bodies of water and is home to blind fish, hummels and seals. “You will overcome many obstacles”, said the crumbly old fortune cookie from Fluff’s pocket.

No one from Freddy’s ever came by to check on us to take a drink order and we weren’t in the mood to hang at the bar, so we took a field trip with our new found friends down the street to Burrito Bar for some pom margaritas, cold beer and okay Mexican food- yum!

Overall: Wasn’t that impressed with Freddy’s, and the diorama lodge was kind of a bust cause it apparently was cancelled without all weblinks getting this info so the news was not widely spread. To be fair though, Freddy’s website had the correct information (THANKS FREDDY’S- WE STILL LOVE YOU), but it just goes to show you can have fun in any situation you happen to find yourself in as long as you have a little patience, some people willing to be silly, some pez and a smile.

PS: For anyone interested- according to the fortune cookie your lucky numbers are 12, 24, 47, 1, 25 & 38.

I braved the snow this morning and made my way out to Chelsea’s Mixed Greens Gallery to check out A. A. Rucci’s newest exibit, “Don’t Take All Night, To Show Me You Love Me”. I often forget to take the time to browse through Chelsea’s many tiny and lovely galleries. It is always oddly satisfying: the clean white walls, empty rooms of exciting new work, quietness save for the clicking of heels walking slowly around the space.

Today was no different. The gallery was empty, and I was free to wander in total silence. The collection was small and sparse but enjoyable none the less. Rucci’s work uses brilliant color and texture, and thus pops off the smooth white walls. The brightness of each painting burns your eyes a little, but the effect is unusual and exciting. Some of his work is dedicated solely to this examination of color, often through thin bright stripes and circular canvases. Other paintings in the collection are slightly more narrative , featuring bodies with no heads and colorful birds.

The highlights of the collection are the few sculptures Rucci has included this time around. The sculptures involve gold birds perched in diverse spaces. They are unexpected and beautifully frivolous. Also be sure to seek out the titles of each painting which are hidden in the corner of the gallery on tiny white slips of paper, and not next to the painting. The titles are long, enchanting sentences that add volumes to each work of art.

Though I wouldn’t necessarily say this particular exhibit is a must see, it is an excellent example of what you are missing out on if you forget to take the occasional (and completely free!!) tour of the many Chelsea galleries.

Dear Mo Pitkins,

What the hell?

I arrived at 7:30 for the 7:45 Shark Show that was happening in the upstairs lounge and there was no one sitting at the little desk at the top of the stairs where they usually take your money and tell you what’s going on. Hmm. I went back downstairs. Then I saw some other people go upstairs, so I followed them thinking they might know what’s going on. They didn’t. At this point, it’s 7:45. A woman with a Mo Pitkins t-shirt comes up the stairs and says “The show started already you know, you can go ahead in.” So we walk in and start to sit down when we’re told by the man on stage that the show has in fact, not started yet. Back into the hallway to wait some more. Finally, 8:00 and we are let in. Grr. Poor organization makes me frustrated. We sit down and the waitress comes over to take our drink order. My friend wanted an Orange Julius. Unfortunately for her, they don’t make the specialty cocktails upstairs, so she had to settle for jack and coke. Hmmph. This show better be good cause now I’m all cranky.

Lucky for me, it was the funnest!

Gabe McKinley, Nick Stevens, Dan Gaba and Ari Voukydis are The Shark Show. It’s sorta like Saturday Night Live, if Saturday Night Live had comedians instead of musical guests. The guest comics included Chris Jurek, A.D. Miles, Sean Crespo, and Dan Newbower. I enjoyed Chris Jurek’s email from his mother about his Time Out New York joke of the week. I had seen A.D. Miles two days prior and even though some of the material was the same, I still laughed. I loved Sean Crespo’s take on hipsters who are “so over motor skills”. Dan Newbower was charmingly funny as always, but I was disappointed that he ran out of time before he could finish the re-telling of a dream he had about doing stand-up at Carnegie Hall.

My favorite moments with the regular cast included the passive aggressive environmentalist, Nick Steven’s pantomime, Ari’s Ann Coulter CUNT watch, and Gabe McKinley’s news update. Honestly, sketch comedy and variety shows frighten me a little because it’s SO easy to do it badly. I had nothing to fear.

The Shark Show lived up to all the great things I’ve heard about it. This is smartly written, well acted, funny stuff. You should check it out.

Sometimes I feel like I’m following the same comedians around the city and watching them perform the same stuff over and over again to the point where I start to think, well geez, I hope Jordan Carlos doesn’t think I’m stalking him. So you can imagine my excitement when I went to see Sweet, hosted by Seth Herzog, at The Slipper Room on Thursday and realized I had never seen any of the guests perform before!. Yay! Also, it had been a while since I had visited The Slipper Room and I do so love it. It’s super cute and kitschy and right across the street from Rosario’s which has really yummy pizza. Anyway, Seth’s guests for the evening included guest DJ and comedic sidekick Nick Stevens, A.D. Miles, Arj Barker, Tony Camin (of Bro’in Out fame), and these people - I think they were called The Dreggs (sp?). Video here:

Anyway, they pretty much stole the show cause you can’t beat a singing dog. Afterwards, the guy in the group did this monologue in the style of a one person show delivered by Michael Thomas Foster about being gay. It was hilarious. Other than that, I think my favorite part of the show was when Seth brought his mother onstage (which he does every week in what I think is a genius idea) or Seth and Nick Stevens who I really really liked. A.D. Miles stuff about his divorce and an unused sex swing full of dirty socks was priceless. It was revealed as he was getting offstage, that his ex-wife was originally supposed to be the guest DJ of the night. True or not, that would have been interesting. All of the comics were solid, so I was a little disappointed that the crowd was so low energy that night, myself included. I was just really tired and I would like to publicly apologize to them by saying: It wasn’t you, it was me. Two more things. Seth? Where did you learn to dance like that? And Nick Stevens, I’m going to be at The Shark Show on Saturday. I promise I’m not following you; it’s just a coincidence.

I like free things. I’m on a mailing list for Time Out New York that offers free advanced movie screenings. All you have to do is be one of the first people to respond and you get free general admission tickets They overbook so you have to be there early because there’s no guarantee you’ll get a seat.

I was a little late for the free screening of Starter For 10, meaning I arrived at the theater 10 minutes before the movie started, so my friend and I had to sit in the front row. Oh well, being really uncomfortable will just give me more of an impetus to get up and leave if the movie sucks. The movie, produced by Tom Hanks, centers around a small town working class Brit named Brian Jackson (James McAvoy). He’s going off to university because he wants to know everything. He loves to learn. When he was a child, he used to watch quiz shows with his dad, who has since passed away. He meets Alice Harbinson (Alice Eve) while trying out for the university quiz team. He helps her cheat on the entrance quiz and because of this, ends up as only an alternate while she gets a spot on the team. He doesn’t mind though because it’s not long till the rest of the team recognizes his quiz team chops. As a bonus, Alice, the pretty preppy blonde type, agrees to go out with him. Days earlier, however, he met Rebecca, a protest-y punk rock type who also likes him, but at this point he is too smitten with Alice to look twice at her. Thus begins the love triangle. This is where the story lost me. First, I did not believe that either of these girls would actually like him. Second, I didn’t buy that he wouldn’t automatically choose Rebecca. She was just so much cooler and prettier than the other girl. Regardless, I feel like I don’t have to tell you anymore about the plot because if you’ve ever seen a movie, you know exactly what’s going to happen here.

The movie is set in the 1980s, but it also was filmed in a 1980s style, which I thought was an odd and distracting choice. I kept thinking ‘who would choose this crappy instrumental synthesized garbage as background music’ on purpose? They only did it in the 80s cause they didn’t know any better. The movie has a couple of funny moments but all in all, it’s pretty predictable and a little too corny and the characters didn’t feel very flushed out. I enjoyed Rebecca Hall and all The Cure songs and it wasn’t so bad that I walked out. It would have been a long walk to the back of the theater and it didn’t deserve that grand of a gesture, though if I were you, I wouldn’t waste my money seeing this in the theater.

It was a Wednesday night, and I spent a lousy day yapping to idiot tourists on an open-top bus. I made some pretty good tips though and figured it was worth $10 at the door to see some titties.

WAIT, NO! That’s not what Burlesque is about! It’s supposed to be a clever and ironic throwback to the 1920’s and 30’s where sexual performance was still new and scandalous! Neo-Burlesque is, of course, a self-counscious modern interpretation on a distinct early 20th century art-form, a fusion of costuming, dance, seduction and humor all while weaving a narrative through music and pantomime, topping it all off with. . . well, yes, Titties! With pasties! And tassles that swirl!!

But, as my first paragraph illustrated, sometimes a fella can dilude himself into believing that he’s attending a subtle, layered, performance piece when in truth, it’s a lot more like a glorified strip-tease.

Which is what my experience seeing The Peach Tartes at Don Hills was like last night. Don Hills, which can be found at Greenwich and Spring sts, in the above Canal st part of TriBeCa (wait a second. . .) and The audience seemed to be mostly made up of the Wall st. types, (both guys and girls) looking to get their jollies off at the sight of pert young female flesh shaking their goodies for the whole crowd to enjoy.

The show was well composed, the ladies very, very sexy all of them with very clever burlesque names and sexy outfits. The loose plot of the show was that these six young ladies were all guests at the Heartbreak Hotel, acting out the five stages of grief (Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance) through burlesque acts some (Denial, Depression) more inspired than others (the rest) along with the most fun, often forgotten stage of overcoming grief: REVENGE!

Though in most of the cases, when not sure of how to take the flimsy story-line of each of their acts further, just displayed some spinning kicks and splits, opting for some easy applause from the audience.

The most enjoyable part of the evening had to be the first act, the Tartes signature piece, all six ladies, in three sets of Dom/Sub duets, tight bodies in slinky lingere performing a very, very naughty dance piece set to Chriss Isaac’s “Baby did a Bad Bad Thing”

Sure, it got my jolly-jim all nice and pointy, but I’m the type to call a spade a spade and if it looks like a strip show, it acts like a strip show, and the skanky bar it’s in smells like a strip show, well then

Don’t call it “Burlesque”

Some nights, I just feel like a grumpy old man. I don’t want to talk to you, and I certainly don’t want to stay home and watch that damned Ryan Seacrest. Kids today. Hmph. So, I went to Pete’s Candy Store for some good old-fashioned Bingo. What did I find? Kids! Uncool kids! They looked like a bunch of marijuana cigarette smoking hooligans if you ask me. Luckily, they were for the most part easy on these old eyes, and the sexual deviants in the crowd seemed to be intimidated by my maturity (judging by the fact that they did not immediately approach yours truly) so I was not at first forced to interact with the locals. But, by jove, then I won a game! You should have seen the jig I danced! Pete’s practices a particularly eclectic brand of bingo involving a combination of “standard” wins (one row across, any direction) with the more intricate “flying backwards L,” “six-pack,” and “holy crap that’s fast first to get to five” variations of bingo. My skills of observation were unthwarted by the multiple hot toddies I consumed, allowing me to crow “bingo!” well before the other drunken rabble present. Typical of the prizes they pass out, I won a set of finger paints which I gave to my truant niece, and a toy motorcycle which launches from a “helmet emitter” which I tried to give to a bum (but found later that my truant niece had wrestled it from the bum and kept it). Upon winning, I suddenly found myself far more popular. A strange woman claimed she lived with me. Following the prudent course, I ran for the door, but suddenly found myself in some sort of hippy back room where a singer-type was warbling at a melange of booze hounds. Clearly, I had gone the wrong direction in my haste. Dodging through the crowd as best I could I scurried back the way I’d come. Strange women in sloppy dress and boots that were fashionable in a time when I was considerably more virile consistently tried to direct me into their booths and “help” me. Harlots! Upon making it to the door, I saw McCarren Park to my left and made a run for it. Eventually, I took refuge somewhere in Greenpoint under the porch of an older Polish couple where I spent the night. Obviously, I will be back for bingo again next week.

Most shows begin when the curtains rise, but at Galerie Poller (547 West 27th St., NY) the curtains are the show. It may seem a tad too avant-garde to photograph the very tapestries you ignore while pretending to leaf through your playbill while you scan the room for a closer seat, but Joachim Schulz’s “lichtspiele” shows that art lurks in the shadows of even the most overlooked items.

Shultz proves what directors already know: even the minutest of details sets the tone for a stage production. Each photograph is approximately the same size and presents the curtains from the same angle: from top to bottom, but with no elaborate overhead or scuffed-up wooden floor peaking out from underneath. Therefore, the color of the curtains and their individual texture take center stage as the photographer shows the implications of lighting.

During a play, when the spotlight zeroes in on one of the characters, your attention focuses on the actor. However, when the spotlight hovers on a curtain, you notice the light instead of the object of its attention, as evidenced in “cinestar hagen, grün,” “cinestar bremen, rot,” and “cineplex bremen Schwarz.” Similarly, the four pillars of lights in “cineplex münster, rotgrün” draw your attention away from the mere fabric. The bright orb of a spotlight becomes its own show as the audience expectantly waits for the curtains to rise so the show can begin.

Since the curtains never rise in Schulz’s photographs, it is the less-obvious lighting that truly brings out the beauty of the curtains. The close ups reveals a labyrinth of deep folds that shelter the stage from hordes of prying eyes. Red curtains are ablaze with subtle lighting. Several photographs romanticize the curtains to such an extent that the tapestries resemble an evening gown. But, “cinemaxx wuppertal, bunt” looks like the tacky drapes you’d find in a suburban concert hall.

The photographs will be on display through March 17. If an exhibit devoted solely to stage curtains is too abstract for your taste, don’t rule Schulz out completely. There are some rather quirky works on his interactive website.

Dry comedy at its best, How to Kick People is a fantastic event at Mo Pitkin’s. Todd Levin and Bob Powers, the evening’s power duo hosts have created an event that allows comedy writers a venue to showcase their work, without having to given in to the more conventional forms of stand up or improv. Instead, How To Kick People is a night of writers performing longer, more concentrated work to a supportive, laid back audience. From the moment it began I felt that How to Kick People is what NPR would be if it were a comedy radio station. This is meant as a huge compliment to Levin and Powers whose humor is pointed, understated and dead-on. The show has a liberal, intellectual tone and best of all no one that goes on stage is trying too hard.

The night’s theme was “I Coulda Been Someone” and each writer addressed this idea in a different but equally hilarious way. to open the show, Levin and Powers showed a slide show of people who had not fulfilled their dreams. This, for me, was the highlight of the night. Each slide was of an individual, a description of their dream, and the reason their dream was de-railed. Levin and Powers delivered each ridiculous dream and de-railment with straight faces and level voices, and the effect was unique and satisfying. I was impressed and inspried by the duo’s creativity and ease with the audience. Though none of their guests quite lived up to this killer opening, it set the tone for an excellent evening of comedy for the literate, intellectual (dare I say hipster?) crowd.

The stand out guest performer was the sole female, Ellie Kemper. She read fake diary entires from her would-be life as a nun– a dream she had nursed when she was younger. The entries addressed all that was disappointing about being a nun, and how unlike the reality of the lifestyle was to the movie “The Sound of Music”. Kemper was charming in her delivery, cheery and naive, with a dark hidden edge. She is an excellent performer and writer and held her ground in the male-heavy line up.

I highly recommend this event, which is celebrating its three year anniversary in the New York scene. Its a little off the beaten path, very East Village, and you feel lucky to have been there when you leave.