Archive for May 25th, 2006

!!!Spoiler Alert!!!

It’s not very good.

Realize that this is coming from the perspective of a blue-blooded, board certified “geek”. I love comics. I would probably have sex with one if it were feasible (DAKOTA NORTH #4, if you are wondering). Granted I kind of burned out on X-Men around Uncanny #213, but I like hardcore mutant-on-mutant action as much as anybody. But I got to see it at the Marvel Comics employee screening last night, and it was…meh.

I don’t think it’s director Brett Ratner’s fault, either. A lot of fans complained when the man behind the RUSH HOUR franchise ended up subbing for Brian Singer, when the latter bolted to direct ultra-hunky Brandon Routh in SUPERMAN RETUNS. Like me, for example. But the man can put together a fight scene, and there were some nice little set pieces (including a great one with Jamie Madrox, aka Multiple Man). The problem was the script.

It is no secret the the production was rushed like crazy in order to beat the aforementioned SUPER-flick to the box office, partially as a screw-you to the departed Singer. And it shows. Hey, what happens when you try to cram the Marauders, the Morlocks, Sentinels, a mutant cure and the Dark Phoenix saga into one, supposedly last, story? A freaking mess, that’s what. Every element ends up getting compromised and we are left with a confusing muddle of a story and a dissatisfying finale. Not to mention the fact that witnessing the utter disregard for the comics’ continuity was like Chinese water torture for my inner nerd.* But hey, at least Chris Claremont was in it.

You like watching stuff get blown up and not have to think too much about it? Want to see Kelsey Grammer in a furry blue costume and physics-defying girdle? Then go see this movie. And stay after the credits, if you do. Myself, I will be downloading last night’s LOST season finale so I can watch it at work. Until then, the mezzanine is closed!

*Juggernaut is not a mutant. He got his powers from the mystic Crimson Ruby of Cyttorak. I mean, come on.