The US Open can bite me.

I went yesterday afternoon, hoping to enjoy a pleasant day in the sun, watching a little yellow ball go back and forth in a hypnotizing and peaceful way. Instead I spend the afternoon completely frustrated by some of the stupidest rules on the planet.
For example ‘No Backpacks’ are allowed inside the grounds. That’s right, no backpacks - go back up the hill and check it.There are women carrying in purses the size of a small child, eliminating a ’size’ argument and they rummage through your bag, thus eliminating any sort of ’safety’ argument, so what’s the reasoning behind it? Did they just randomly decide to discriminate against those who carry their things around on both shoulders? But, once you check it, they do give you a tiny clear plastic bag to carry all your stuff around in, and you can have as many of those as you want. So, after you’ve been switched from having all your stuff on two shoulders to pretty much having to hold it all in your hands, maybe you’re a little stressed. Maybe you want a cigarette. Well, I’m sorry because there is ‘No Smoking’ on the grounds. Fine, that’s not unheard of in NYC. Let’s just get to our seats. You go up the escalator and wow! What a beautiful view! You can see the Unisphere and those spaceship-y things from Men in Black, and you go to take a picture, but, uh oh, ‘No Pictures’.
I will admit, once I got to my seat, it was very nice. I got to see Agassi and Ginepri battle for every single point. I saw some cool skywriting, and got some sun. I cheered for whoever needed cheering for and stayed quiet when everyone else did. So overall, I guess I’m glad I went, but I’m never going again.
And I’m not completely stupid. I know that the picture rule is because they had a professional photographer taking people’s picture with the Unisphere in the background for $5. And I know one of the reasons they don’t let you smoke is so you’ll buy more $7 fries and $8Heineken. And they make you check your backpack because the bag check cost $3. The Open does everything it can to separate you from your money. In fact, if you feel stupid carrying your tiny plastic bag around, you can buy a $47 backpack at one of the souvenir booths once you’re inside.
Well played, US Open. Well played.